Which wipe works for you?

-or-

How well do you really know someone?

Recently while in a room of three people and odd conversation erupted. Some one was relating a story about ass wiping and gestured an imaginary wipe, which was done from the front. (This person will remain anonymous as will all respondents) After listening to his story I asked and discovered that this person was indeed a front wiper. The other two people were rear wipers - but they wiped in different directions! We almost died laughing. Three people - three wipes. Thus this page. I figure that there are four distinct possibilities: